Tag: Crossing Your Jordan River Book

How has it been three months since my Dear Dad was ushered into heaven?

What a strange time it’s been. I’m super grateful for God’s Amazing Grace that has carried me and my family thus far and will continue to carry and comfort us.

I thought this would be a good time to stop and reflect and share a little more about what’s been helping me up to this point.

As I recently heard that one of my college roommates just lost her dad, I’m reminded that our loved ones are only here for a set time. I’m also reminded that we all go through our own journey of grief.

I hope something in this blog post and the “Gripped by God’s Grace” series will help to encourage you along your journey.

If I had to describe my journey so far, I would say I’ve gone through three phases.

Phase 1 – Accept

After the initial onset of shock and sadness and grief and more, by God’s grace, I slowly started moving into the acceptance phase. For me, that meant slowly realizing and accepting that I’m not going to see my Dad again until I get to heaven. I won’t be getting a phone call from him again.  The only way I can see and hear him now is through photos and videos. It’s not an easy process, but I’m grateful that I do have tons of memories and stories and photos and videos and mementos that I can treasure for years to come. Although I can’t bring my Dad back, I can help to keep his memory alive and honor him in the present and future.

Phase 2 – Adjust and Adapt

The brutal reality is that I won’t see my Dad here on earth again. And so, I must learn to go on with my new normal and adapt. I must adjust and continue to live and find reasons to smile and laugh and go on and to make new memories with mi familia. He would want that. And God wants that for me. I can’t go through life looking through the lens of shoulda, woulda, coulda or what ifs and if onlys. I must forge ahead and live by the values that God has given me and that my parents have instilled in me. Now I delight in sharing some of my favorite stories and memories and photos of my Dad and look for new ways to honor him. Lately, I’ve been wearing jewelry on Zoom calls that my Dad gifted me from Ecuador. I recently said yes to being the sole Latina speaking at a Christian online forum on race and culture and helped to represent Hispanics. My Dad would have been THRILLED to see me help represent mi gente, as he was very proud of his Ecuadorian roots and had a long history of fighting for immigrants’ rights. During the online event, I actually had a pin that my Dad gave me nearby to represent that I was doing this in his honor. I look forward to continuing to honor my Dad’s legacy in various ways, and as the Lord leads. Stay tuned for an upcoming post about how to keep your loved one’s memory alive.   

Phase 3 – Advance

We’re not meant to wallow in sorrow forever. We’re meant to receive God’s extravagant comfort and grace and peace and strength and love day by day.

God makes us resilient. God helps us grow and mature. God walks with us every step of the way.

Early on, one of the verses that helped me was when King David heard that his son had died. He replied, “But now that he is dead, why should I go on fasting? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me.” (2 Samuel 12:23)

By faith, David knew that he would be reunited with his son one day.

By faith, I know I will see my Dad again in heaven.

So, what am I to do now?

I’m to continue moving forward and living a life that honors God and the call He’s placed on my life.

I’m also to continue honoring my parents.  

“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.” (Exodus 20:12)

I can continue to honor my Dad, even now that it’s after his days.

Here’s just a glimpse of what my Dad stood for:

• Loving family
• Loving life
• Loving God
• Working hard
• Helping his community
• Being generous
• Enjoying life and hardy laughs
• Being a good storyteller and natural public speaker
• Staying connected to your roots
• Going on adventures
• Loving nature
• Being good
• Being happy
• Being healthy
• Aiming high
• Climbing high (even literally when it came to the Andes mountains)
• Getting the job done
• Aspiring for more
• Continuously learning
• Trying new things
• Keeping old values
• Making a difference
• Living in the moment
• Teaching others
• Welcoming others
• Being part of historic events (more on that another time)

Perhaps I will expound on the above list in a future post.

In the meantime, I hope you’re also feeling God’s loving presence as you travel along your journey.

May you be at peace knowing that YOU are gripped by God’s Amazing Grace! 

If you’d like to share what’s helped you through your journey of losing a parent or other loved one, please feel free to comment below or on Abounding Faith’s Facebook page.

If you’d like to read more about my Dad, you can read about some of our adventures in By Faith: Adventures and Reflections on Walking With God Here and Abroad.

You can also check out these blog posts I’ve written over the years:

• Gripped by God’s Grace (Part 1)
• Gripped by God’s Grace (Part 2)
• That’s My Dad – A Tribute
• Lesson Learned from My Dad
• Over the Moon: My Connection to Apollo 11
• Let Your Light Shine
• Lost and Found

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Did this post encourage you? Get access to the FREE Feisty Faith: Trusting God Day by Day 5-Day Sampler PDF as a gift when you sign up for Abounding Faith’s email list. Get updates on Abounding Faith’s books, blog, podcast, life coaching and more by clicking here or the image below.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.comThe “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” (Psalm 17:22 NIV)

As I continue to prayerfully process the recent passing of my dear Dad, I’m finding it even more important to be extra kind and to have extra grace and love for mi familia. We’ve all been through so much lately. I also have more compassion for those who have lost a parent or other loved one.

Along with being kind to others, I’m finding that it’s just as important to have extra grace with myself. That’s where the whole notion of self-care comes in.

When I was looking for extra ideas and inspiration for how to encourage myself during this rough time, I asked for self-care suggestions on social media. I was so pleased with many of the answers I received.

Since many of you are also going through hard times right now, I couldn’t keep the ideas to myself.

I hope this list of 16 easy and simple self-care ideas will encourage and inspire you as you seek to be kinder and gentler with yourself and show yourself some extra TLC. (Note the ideas are listed in no particular order.)

8 Ways to Be Kind to Your Body

• Treat yourself to your favorite meal or dessert
• Walk, run, jog or do the exercise of your choosing
• Get enough rest and sleep (cat naps are also welcome)
• Take a warm bath just the way you like it
• Boost your energy by staying hydrated, eating your veggies and taking vitamins, etc…
• Allow yourself a good cry every now and again
• Find reasons to laugh and smile often
• Enjoy active hobbies such as gardening or taking your dog for a walk

8 Ways to Be Kind to Your Soul

• Curl up with a good book, including the Bible
• Journal your thoughts as you pray and mediate on God’s Word
• Count your blessings and perhaps write them down in a gratitude journal
• Enjoy creative hobbies such as crafting or knitting or scrapbooking, etc…
• Schedule regular quiet time at the beginning of your day or as you wind down at night. Quick breaks throughout the day also work wonders.
• Have deep and meaningful conversations with your close friends or family
• Listen to your favorite music or podcast
• Watch your favorite TV show or movie

Bonus Suggestion: Seek professional help as needed. There’s no shame in speaking with a Christian Counselor or trusted Pastor. Many churches also have bereavement or support groups of all types.

What’s one idea from the list that you’d like to try? I’d love to hear how it goes. Feel free to comment below or on Abounding Faith’s Facebook page.

No matter how many ideas you try, just remember true joy, comfort and peace can only be found as we abide in Christ. May you be encouraged by the following Bible verses:

• “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” (John 14:27)
• “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” (Isaiah 26:3)
• “The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace.” (Psalm 29:11)
• “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)

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Did this post encourage you? Get access to the FREE Feisty Faith: Trusting God Day by Day 5-Day Sampler PDF as a gift when you sign up for Abounding Faith’s email list. Get updates on Abounding Faith’s inspiring books, blog, podcast, life coaching and more by clicking here or the image below.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.comThe “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

It’s been more than a month since my dear Dad was promoted to heaven, and I’d like to share another update about how I’m doing on my journey of healing. It’s never easy to lose a parent or loved one. I’d like to share a few more things that are helping me through. I hope something in this post encourages you as you process the loss of your loved one.

Right now, I’m trying to find a nice balance between feeling sad and feeling joy. Thankfully, I have more ups than down and more highs than lows. Here’s a few more things that have been helping:

Letting the tears flow I’ve never been a big fan of crying, but I’ve learned not to hold back my tears, especially when it comes to my Dad. God created us with different emotions, including sadness. It’s healthy and ok to cry. It’s healing and cathartic to release those tears. I don’t stay there though. I let the moment pass. And sometimes, they’re actually happy tears as I think of fond memories.

Here are a few thoughts and Bible verses related to sadness and tears:

• God is aware of our tears “Record my misery; list my tears on your scroll — are they not in your record?” (Psalm 56:8)
• God is right there with you “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18)
• God will bring you through “You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. Lord my God, I will praise you forever.” (Psalm 30:11-12)

My Dad was a go-getter and loved life and really lived to the fullest. It helps me to remember that he wouldn’t want me to be miserable and crying all the time. He loved seeing me happy and smiling and laughing. And so, I aim to remember him with joy. And finding joy in this journey and reasons to smile, even while missing him, is a way I can honor my Dad’s zest for life.

Finding the balance between missing my Dad and enjoying mi familia Along the same lines, I can miss my Dad, but I also need to rejoice and celebrate mi familia still here. God has blessed us with this life. He has kept us here for a purpose. I need to be present and live in today. The following Bible verses remind me that tomorrow isn’t promised and that every day is a gift from God:

• “Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring.” (Proverbs 27:1)
• “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” (Psalm 90:12)
• “The LORD has done it this very day; let us rejoice today and be glad.” (Psalm 118:24)

Finding the balance between keeping traditions and starting new ones We just had our first major holiday without my Dad. My dear Dad had his first Easter in heaven with Jesus. Glory! Mi familia has some birthdays and a major graduation coming up. We can either wallow in sorrow and pity and mourn that my Dad isn’t here with us on earth or we can keep some of our favorite family traditions and take time to try new traditions. It’s nice to know we can make new memories while still honoring my Dad.

Talking to extended family We recently had a Zoom with a few family members and it was such a blessing to share some of our favorite memories and stories about my Dad. It’s great to hear everyone’s different perspectives and to see my Dad through their eyes.

Learning more about my Dad’s culture My Dad loved the United States, but he also loved his home country of Ecuador. I’m being intentional about tapping into my Ecuadorian roots a bit. Some of the ways I’ve done so are by eating ceviche (shrimp cocktail), which was one of our favorite dishes to eat together. I’ve also been listening to Andean music, which my Dad really enjoyed. I’m enjoying wearing some of the beautiful ponchos (shawls) and jewelry my Dad has given me over the years and using the mochilas (backpacks) he’s gifted me. These items have so much more meaning and sentimental value for me now. They help me connect to a culture and heritage my Dad was very proud of.

Learning more about heaven I’m eternally grateful that I got to witness my Dad receive Jesus as His Lord and Savior a few years ago. Now that my Dad is in heaven, I’m more curious and interested in what’s going on up there. I know it’s a million times better than anything we could ever think or imagine.

Here’s just a taste of what the Bible says about heaven:

There’s continuous prayer and worship going on

“Each of the four living creatures had six wings and was covered with eyes all around, even under its wings. Day and night they never stop saying:

‘Holy, holy, holy

is the Lord God Almighty,’

who was, and is, and is to come.’

Whenever the living creatures give glory, honor and thanks to him who sits on the throne and who lives for ever and ever, the twenty-four elders fall down before him who sits on the throne and worship him who lives for ever and ever. They lay their crowns before the throne and say:

‘You are worthy, our Lord and God,

to receive glory and honor and power,

for you created all things,

and by your will they were created

and have their being.’” (Revelation 4:8-11)

Our prayers are rising like incense

“And when he had taken it, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb. Each one had a harp and they were holding golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of God’s people.” (Revelation 5:8)

The angels are rejoicing

“I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.” (Luke 15:7)

Jesus is interceding for us

“Christ Jesus who died–more than that, who was raised to life–is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.” (Romans 8:34b)

Jesus is preparing a place for us

“My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.” (John 14:2-4)

There won’t be anymore crying

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (Revelation 21:4)

What a glorious day it will be when we’re reunited with our loved ones already in heaven with our Heavenly Father. Until then, let’s live God’s will for our lives while we’re here. Let’s embrace and cherish the precious memories of our loved ones who have gone before us, and let’s enjoy and celebrate the loved ones we still have with us.

If you’re struggling to cope with the loss of a loved one, please reach out to a Christian counselor for extra support or check if your church has a bereavement group.

And if you’re wondering the way to heaven, here’s what Jesus said:

“Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.'” (John 14:6)

And here’s what the Bible also says:

“If you declare with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.” (Romans 10:9-10)

If you’d like to share what’s helped you through your journey of losing a parent or other loved one, please feel free to comment below or on Abounding Faith’s Facebook page.

If you’d like to read more about my Dad, you can read about some of our adventures in By Faith: Adventures and Reflections on Walking With God Here and Abroad.

You can also check out these blog posts I’ve written over the years:

• Gripped by God’s Grace (Part 1)
• That’s My Dad – A Tribute
• Lesson Learned from My Dad
• Over the Moon: My Connection to Apollo 11
• Let Your Light Shine
• Lost and Found

(FYI, I took the sky pic on Resurrection Sunday.)

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Did this post encourage you? Get access to the FREE Feisty Faith: Trusting God Day by Day 5-Day Sampler PDF as a gift when you sign up for Abounding Faith’s email list. Get updates on Abounding Faith’s books, blog, podcast, life coaching and more by clicking here or the image below.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.comThe “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™