Tag: By Faith Book

It’s been more than a month since my dear Dad was promoted to heaven, and I’d like to share another update about how I’m doing on my journey of healing. It’s never easy to lose a parent or loved one. I’d like to share a few more things that are helping me through. I hope something in this post encourages you as you process the loss of your loved one.

Right now, I’m trying to find a nice balance between feeling sad and feeling joy. Thankfully, I have more ups than down and more highs than lows. Here’s a few more things that have been helping:

Letting the tears flow I’ve never been a big fan of crying, but I’ve learned not to hold back my tears, especially when it comes to my Dad. God created us with different emotions, including sadness. It’s healthy and ok to cry. It’s healing and cathartic to release those tears. I don’t stay there though. I let the moment pass. And sometimes, they’re actually happy tears as I think of fond memories.

Here are a few thoughts and Bible verses related to sadness and tears:

• God is aware of our tears “Record my misery; list my tears on your scroll — are they not in your record?” (Psalm 56:8)
• God is right there with you “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18)
• God will bring you through “You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. Lord my God, I will praise you forever.” (Psalm 30:11-12)

My Dad was a go-getter and loved life and really lived to the fullest. It helps me to remember that he wouldn’t want me to be miserable and crying all the time. He loved seeing me happy and smiling and laughing. And so, I aim to remember him with joy. And finding joy in this journey and reasons to smile, even while missing him, is a way I can honor my Dad’s zest for life.

Finding the balance between missing my Dad and enjoying mi familia Along the same lines, I can miss my Dad, but I also need to rejoice and celebrate mi familia still here. God has blessed us with this life. He has kept us here for a purpose. I need to be present and live in today. The following Bible verses remind me that tomorrow isn’t promised and that every day is a gift from God:

• “Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring.” (Proverbs 27:1)
• “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” (Psalm 90:12)
• “The LORD has done it this very day; let us rejoice today and be glad.” (Psalm 118:24)

Finding the balance between keeping traditions and starting new ones We just had our first major holiday without my Dad. My dear Dad had his first Easter in heaven with Jesus. Glory! Mi familia has some birthdays and a major graduation coming up. We can either wallow in sorrow and pity and mourn that my Dad isn’t here with us on earth or we can keep some of our favorite family traditions and take time to try new traditions. It’s nice to know we can make new memories while still honoring my Dad.

Talking to extended family We recently had a Zoom with a few family members and it was such a blessing to share some of our favorite memories and stories about my Dad. It’s great to hear everyone’s different perspectives and to see my Dad through their eyes.

Learning more about my Dad’s culture My Dad loved the United States, but he also loved his home country of Ecuador. I’m being intentional about tapping into my Ecuadorian roots a bit. Some of the ways I’ve done so are by eating ceviche (shrimp cocktail), which was one of our favorite dishes to eat together. I’ve also been listening to Andean music, which my Dad really enjoyed. I’m enjoying wearing some of the beautiful ponchos (shawls) and jewelry my Dad has given me over the years and using the mochilas (backpacks) he’s gifted me. These items have so much more meaning and sentimental value for me now. They help me connect to a culture and heritage my Dad was very proud of.

Learning more about heaven I’m eternally grateful that I got to witness my Dad receive Jesus as His Lord and Savior a few years ago. Now that my Dad is in heaven, I’m more curious and interested in what’s going on up there. I know it’s a million times better than anything we could ever think or imagine.

Here’s just a taste of what the Bible says about heaven:

There’s continuous prayer and worship going on

“Each of the four living creatures had six wings and was covered with eyes all around, even under its wings. Day and night they never stop saying:

‘Holy, holy, holy

is the Lord God Almighty,’

who was, and is, and is to come.’

Whenever the living creatures give glory, honor and thanks to him who sits on the throne and who lives for ever and ever, the twenty-four elders fall down before him who sits on the throne and worship him who lives for ever and ever. They lay their crowns before the throne and say:

‘You are worthy, our Lord and God,

to receive glory and honor and power,

for you created all things,

and by your will they were created

and have their being.’” (Revelation 4:8-11)

Our prayers are rising like incense

“And when he had taken it, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb. Each one had a harp and they were holding golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of God’s people.” (Revelation 5:8)

The angels are rejoicing

“I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.” (Luke 15:7)

Jesus is interceding for us

“Christ Jesus who died–more than that, who was raised to life–is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.” (Romans 8:34b)

Jesus is preparing a place for us

“My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.” (John 14:2-4)

There won’t be anymore crying

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (Revelation 21:4)

What a glorious day it will be when we’re reunited with our loved ones already in heaven with our Heavenly Father. Until then, let’s live God’s will for our lives while we’re here. Let’s embrace and cherish the precious memories of our loved ones who have gone before us, and let’s enjoy and celebrate the loved ones we still have with us.

If you’re struggling to cope with the loss of a loved one, please reach out to a Christian counselor for extra support or check if your church has a bereavement group.

And if you’re wondering the way to heaven, here’s what Jesus said:

“Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.'” (John 14:6)

And here’s what the Bible also says:

“If you declare with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.” (Romans 10:9-10)

If you’d like to share what’s helped you through your journey of losing a parent or other loved one, please feel free to comment below or on Abounding Faith’s Facebook page.

If you’d like to read more about my Dad, you can read about some of our adventures in By Faith: Adventures and Reflections on Walking With God Here and Abroad.

You can also check out these blog posts I’ve written over the years:

• Gripped by God’s Grace (Part 1)
• That’s My Dad – A Tribute
• Lesson Learned from My Dad
• Over the Moon: My Connection to Apollo 11
• Let Your Light Shine
• Lost and Found

(FYI, I took the sky pic on Resurrection Sunday.)

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All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.comThe “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

Ah, this pic I recently took highlights the beauty of the in between… the weather and blue sky were lovely that day and yet the tree branches were still bare…. This image reminds me of the winter a few years ago when we were driving up to visit my sister. The day was dreary and gray and the road was lined with bare trees.

My dear Dad, who loved nature and agriculture, remarked, “It’s too bad for people who arrive in this country at this time of the year because they look at the trees and think they’re dead.”

That thought struck me back then and has stuck with me ever since.

The trees may look dead during the winter, but we know they’re only dormant until it’s time to spring back to life in the next season.

So, too, are God’s promises in our lives. They can seem dead for weeks, months or even years. All hope can seem lost.

But God is working!

And in due season, His plans and purposes for your life will sprout and you’ll bloom and blossom right on time.

May you find the joy in every season.  

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1 NIV)

For more encouragement on your faith journey, check out Waiting on God Well: How to Prevent Breaking Down on Your Way to Your Breakthrough and all of Abounding Faith’s inspiring and empowering Bible-based books on Amazon.

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Did this post encourage you? Get my weekly blog posts emailed to you for free by clicking here or the image below. When you sign up, you’ll also get access to the FREE Feisty Faith: Trusting God Day by Day 5-Day Sampler PDF as a free gift.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.comThe “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

It’s been a little more than two weeks since my Dad went to be with Jesus. I thought I’d take a moment to thank everyone for your outpouring of love and support and prayers.

I also wanted to take a moment to share how I’m doing and what’s been helping me during this time.

Everyone processes grief at a different pace and mourns differently. I wasn’t even sure of the difference between grief and mourning, but I recently learned that grief is what you feel on the inside when a loved ones dies and mourning is how you express that grief.

I’m no expert in grief, but I would like to share a little bit of what has helped me through this mourning process in hopes of perhaps encouraging you and even hearing what’s helped you process the death of a loved one.

I plan to continue to share some thoughts about this journey as the Lord leads. It won’t be all the time, but as I feel led to share. I hope you find something in this post helpful. Blessings to you on your journey:

Writing Tributes and Memories – The writer in me finds it very healing and cathartic to write some of my favorite memories of my Dad for myself and to share with my family and friends. It’s my nature to want to record memories and chronicle stories, so when the words are flowing (like now) I find it very helpful to write away. Right now they’re bits and pieces of memories, quotes, Dadisms, etc. Nothing too formal or fancy. There’ll be plenty of time to organize everything. For now, it’s just a matter of getting some favorite thoughts out of my head and onto the page or computer screen. As a journalist, we’d never write about our parents. As a former journalist, I can type away freely. I’m very grateful for that. I want to write down memories now that they’re fresh. I guess if I were a poet or songwriter, I would be writing poems or songs right now. Whether it’s a sentence or a blog post, writing is key for me. My Dad was also very supportive of my writing career, so it’s a great way for me to honor him. These tributes are a sweet way for me to help keep his memory alive.

Sharing Priceless Pictures – The photojournalist in me is loving sorting through photos and telling parts of my Dad’s story through images. I’m delighting in going through photo albums and organizing tons of pictures by themes or years. There are the childhood pics, the teen years, our travels, just me and my Dad, pics with our pets and pics of Grandpa and his grandkids, etc. I love seeing pics of my Dad smiling. I love seeing pics of the good times. It reminds me that we squeezed in a lot of life and joy and memories together. When I’m ready, I’ll go through my family’s pics as well and enjoy seeing even more snapshots of my Dad. Our family could sometimes be like paparazzi with our cameras. It could be a little annoying in the moment, but those pictures are so precious now. And I haven’t even begun sorting through my digital photos or videos. There’s no rush. I have the rest of my lifetime to sort through the pics and to soak in the memories.

Talking to Family and Friends – Mi familia and friends have been awesome. My close friends know how to reach out to me while giving me the privacy and space I need. It was so healing to speak to a different close friend daily after everything happened. I’m grateful that they didn’t pry. I’m grateful for their listening ears. They didn’t have the answers and I didn’t expect them to. I was just grateful for a safe space to talk, ponder, process, cry and even laugh. It was so helpful to talk about my situation, listen to how they’ve coped with losing their loved ones and to even talk about other topics. Sometimes it’s nice to talk about something else for a change. Even if it’s just for a moment. Of course, it’s been healing to speak to my family and to share memories and thoughts, etc. I’m grateful that we can talk about my Dad and smile or cry and then move on to other topics as well. We’re finding a nice balance of not over talking about things while also not ignoring them either. It’s also been sweet hearing people’s feedback to the tributes I’ve shared on social media and here on my blog.

Remembering Where He is Now – Whenever I find myself feeling sad or maybe even a little guilty for enjoying a moment, it helps me to remember that my Dad is with Jesus now. Nothing beats heaven. Nothing. My Dad is no longer suffering. He has been promoted to heaven. The Bible says that as believers, to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord (2 Corinthians 5:8). While I miss my Dad, I’m at peace and can rejoice that my Dad is with Jesus and that one day I will see him again in heaven. No sunset or song or meal here on earth can compare to what my Dad is experiencing in heaven. That makes me smile and brings me peace. Will I feel sad? Sure. But I don’t have to stay there. My “One Word” for this year is “Stand Firm” and that’s what I hope to do. By God’s grace, I will stand firm on the promise that through Jesus we have eternal life in heaven with our Heavenly Father. My Dad is not lost. He just moved to his eternal home. One day we will be reunited. Until then, I will rejoice in remembering my Dad and will remain grateful for all the time we had together. And I will continue living by faith, hope and love. Here are three Bible verses that have been really helping me:

• “We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord.” (2 Corinthians 5:8 NIV)
• “Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.” (1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 NIV)
• “Jesus said to her, ‘I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?'” (John 11:25 NIV)

Taking it One Day at a Time – It’s been very helpful for future-focused me to slow down a bit and to simply live in today. Sometimes that includes reminiscing about the past. Other times it means talking about what I’m feeling. Some times it means being silent. I’m not following a timeline or giving myself deadlines. I’m just taking it one day at a time. I don’t have to have neat answers or seek explanations. I don’t need to be anxious about the future. I can just rest in knowing that God is with me and is guiding me every step of the way.

I can be at peace knowing that I am gripped by God’s grace.

And so are you!

If you’d like to share what’s helped you through your journey of losing a parent or other loved one, please feel free to comment below or on Abounding Faith’s Facebook page.

Thank you for your prayers for me and mi familia during this time.

If you’d like to read more about my Dad, you can read about some of our adventures in By Faith: Adventures and Reflections on Walking With God Here and Abroad.

You can also check out these blog posts I’ve written over the years:

• That’s My Dad – A Tribute
• Lesson Learned from My Dad
• Over the Moon: My Connection to Apollo 11
• Let Your Light Shine
• Lost and Found

________________________________________________

Did this post encourage you? Get my weekly blog posts emailed to you for free by clicking here or the image below. When you sign up, you’ll also get access to the FREE Feisty Faith: Trusting God Day by Day 5-Day Sampler PDF as a free gift.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.comThe “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™