Month: March 2021

It’s been a little more than two weeks since my Dad went to be with Jesus. I thought I’d take a moment to thank everyone for your outpouring of love and support and prayers.

I also wanted to take a moment to share how I’m doing and what’s been helping me during this time.

Everyone processes grief at a different pace and mourns differently. I wasn’t even sure of the difference between grief and mourning, but I recently learned that grief is what you feel on the inside when a loved ones dies and mourning is how you express that grief.

I’m no expert in grief, but I would like to share a little bit of what has helped me through this mourning process in hopes of perhaps encouraging you and even hearing what’s helped you process the death of a loved one.

I plan to continue to share some thoughts about this journey as the Lord leads. It won’t be all the time, but as I feel led to share. I hope you find something in this post helpful. Blessings to you on your journey:

Writing Tributes and Memories – The writer in me finds it very healing and cathartic to write some of my favorite memories of my Dad for myself and to share with my family and friends. It’s my nature to want to record memories and chronicle stories, so when the words are flowing (like now) I find it very helpful to write away. Right now they’re bits and pieces of memories, quotes, Dadisms, etc. Nothing too formal or fancy. There’ll be plenty of time to organize everything. For now, it’s just a matter of getting some favorite thoughts out of my head and onto the page or computer screen. As a journalist, we’d never write about our parents. As a former journalist, I can type away freely. I’m very grateful for that. I want to write down memories now that they’re fresh. I guess if I were a poet or songwriter, I would be writing poems or songs right now. Whether it’s a sentence or a blog post, writing is key for me. My Dad was also very supportive of my writing career, so it’s a great way for me to honor him. These tributes are a sweet way for me to help keep his memory alive.

Sharing Priceless Pictures – The photojournalist in me is loving sorting through photos and telling parts of my Dad’s story through images. I’m delighting in going through photo albums and organizing tons of pictures by themes or years. There are the childhood pics, the teen years, our travels, just me and my Dad, pics with our pets and pics of Grandpa and his grandkids, etc. I love seeing pics of my Dad smiling. I love seeing pics of the good times. It reminds me that we squeezed in a lot of life and joy and memories together. When I’m ready, I’ll go through my family’s pics as well and enjoy seeing even more snapshots of my Dad. Our family could sometimes be like paparazzi with our cameras. It could be a little annoying in the moment, but those pictures are so precious now. And I haven’t even begun sorting through my digital photos or videos. There’s no rush. I have the rest of my lifetime to sort through the pics and to soak in the memories.

Talking to Family and Friends – Mi familia and friends have been awesome. My close friends know how to reach out to me while giving me the privacy and space I need. It was so healing to speak to a different close friend daily after everything happened. I’m grateful that they didn’t pry. I’m grateful for their listening ears. They didn’t have the answers and I didn’t expect them to. I was just grateful for a safe space to talk, ponder, process, cry and even laugh. It was so helpful to talk about my situation, listen to how they’ve coped with losing their loved ones and to even talk about other topics. Sometimes it’s nice to talk about something else for a change. Even if it’s just for a moment. Of course, it’s been healing to speak to my family and to share memories and thoughts, etc. I’m grateful that we can talk about my Dad and smile or cry and then move on to other topics as well. We’re finding a nice balance of not over talking about things while also not ignoring them either. It’s also been sweet hearing people’s feedback to the tributes I’ve shared on social media and here on my blog.

Remembering Where He is Now – Whenever I find myself feeling sad or maybe even a little guilty for enjoying a moment, it helps me to remember that my Dad is with Jesus now. Nothing beats heaven. Nothing. My Dad is no longer suffering. He has been promoted to heaven. The Bible says that as believers, to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord (2 Corinthians 5:8). While I miss my Dad, I’m at peace and can rejoice that my Dad is with Jesus and that one day I will see him again in heaven. No sunset or song or meal here on earth can compare to what my Dad is experiencing in heaven. That makes me smile and brings me peace. Will I feel sad? Sure. But I don’t have to stay there. My “One Word” for this year is “Stand Firm” and that’s what I hope to do. By God’s grace, I will stand firm on the promise that through Jesus we have eternal life in heaven with our Heavenly Father. My Dad is not lost. He just moved to his eternal home. One day we will be reunited. Until then, I will rejoice in remembering my Dad and will remain grateful for all the time we had together. And I will continue living by faith, hope and love. Here are three Bible verses that have been really helping me:

• “We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord.” (2 Corinthians 5:8 NIV)
• “Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.” (1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 NIV)
• “Jesus said to her, ‘I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?'” (John 11:25 NIV)

Taking it One Day at a Time – It’s been very helpful for future-focused me to slow down a bit and to simply live in today. Sometimes that includes reminiscing about the past. Other times it means talking about what I’m feeling. Some times it means being silent. I’m not following a timeline or giving myself deadlines. I’m just taking it one day at a time. I don’t have to have neat answers or seek explanations. I don’t need to be anxious about the future. I can just rest in knowing that God is with me and is guiding me every step of the way.

I can be at peace knowing that I am gripped by God’s grace.

And so are you!

If you’d like to share what’s helped you through your journey of losing a parent or other loved one, please feel free to comment below or on Abounding Faith’s Facebook page.

Thank you for your prayers for me and mi familia during this time.

If you’d like to read more about my Dad, you can read about some of our adventures in By Faith: Adventures and Reflections on Walking With God Here and Abroad.

You can also check out these blog posts I’ve written over the years:

• That’s My Dad – A Tribute
• Lesson Learned from My Dad
• Over the Moon: My Connection to Apollo 11
• Let Your Light Shine
• Lost and Found

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All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.comThe “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™